Wednesday, May 26, 2010

The People You Meet in Grad School: Part 5

Since finals week and May graduation transpired, many people are now enjoying an unfamiliar phenomenon known as "summer break."

Not this girl. And neither are my other 21 Maymester classmates.

In the Spring semester that just wrapped up, I had 100% English classes, even though I'm in a teaching program.

Understandably, my Maymester had me switching back into the realm of Education classes, with a course entitled "Foundations of Reading Instruction"...a.k.a, the Teaching of Reading.

(sidenote: i am glad i don't have to teach this bug.)

(another sidenote to define what a Maymester is: Maymester (noun): An evil, 3-week chunk of time during the month of May, in which an entire 3-month semester's worth of class and work is sardine-packed into 15 days of school. Obviously created by a sadistic dictator of collegiate administration of years past.)

On the upside? Maymester has spawned a new TPYMIGS post. This one is a little more specific than my previous posts, so I'm sorry if my fellow grad schoolers in programs other than Education can't relate.

Actually, no I'm not. Here she is folks....

5. The Overemotional Education Student

Okay, we get it. We're gonna be teachers. We're gonna be "making a difference." Does that mean we all have to transform into the biggest SAPS on the face of the planet to make it through our Education programs?

I like to think "no."

The Overemotional Education Student (OES), however? For them, not a day of class goes by where this person is not borderline moved to tears by some article that the rest of us thought was painful just to get through. This person also always--ALWAYS-- has some sentimental event/story from their past that they can very sneakily relate to the topic at hand.

...And that's why it's good for kids to read.

The OES: (interjecting by claiming that their comment will be "really quick" and proceeding to talk about themselves for 20 minutes) Well, this is just especially important to ME because I didn't learn to read until I was 15 and I somehow got into this graduate program anyway and I just know that I'm gonna connect with my students because of that. (tears forming in their eyes)


It's important to give your students positive feedback.

The OES: (again, blurting out comment without being acknowledged or called on) Well, when I was in high school, my teachers always graded in red pen and this really hurt my very fragile feelings and I vowed never to do that. They also corrected my grammar on my papers, which really got in the way of me expressing myself and my emotions and also this hurt my feelings again.

What's that you say? You had teachers that used red pen and....GASP!....corrected your dreadful grammar?!? Who are these neo-Nazis of the world of Education and how dare they try to impose the basic rules of Standard English upon you?

Cry me a freaking river, OES. (actually I probably shouldn't say that with as often as this person is on the verge of unnecessary optical waterworks).

Believe it or not, I go to class with plenty of people (professors included) who think grading in red pen is the work of the Devil and that pesky little things like grammar should be overlooked in favor of personal expression. The OES is the commander in chief of the anti-red pen squadron.

Overemotional Education Students really do believe that they are making "deep, personal connections" with every kid that they spend more than 5 minutes with. That's all well and good, except that in reality they are so swept up in their idealistic bullshit that they probably aren't accomplishing anything besides convincing themselves they are academic messiahs.

And their students probably all think they are a bunch of namby-pamby bleeding heart pansies. And I kind of agree.

This may make me sound like a heartless bitch, but I disagree. I'm not going to care any less about my future students. I'm just not going to cross into the Dark Side warped perception known as Academic Fantasy Land.

i think this is probably what Academic Fantasy Land looks like. you know, the same place where people shit rainbows and butterflies.

No, I'll stay right here in Reality and try to keep my distance from the Overemotional Education Students, lest they contaminate my views with kum-bay-ah delusions and incessant talk about their feelings.

Oh, and I'll be grading all of my papers with a big, huge, RED PEN. Future students beware.



  1. ahhhhhhhhh HOW DO YOU GIRLS SURVIVE THIS CRAP!?!?! I would be OES type two, the girl who screams and throws her books at OES type one.

  2. Apparently, Academic Fantasy Land is where dwarves go to get high.

  3. Though I'm not an Ed grad student, I'm friends with enough Education people to have heard of this type of person before. Yuck.

  4. Grammar - y'know, IS expressing yourself. It's literally the construct of words which allows expression. Sloppy grammar = sloppy expression. Kudos to you. :)


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