Friday, March 26, 2010

Brown Bathroom of Doom

Some of you may remember my post about roaches from a while back.

The infamous incident discussed at the end of that post occurred in the downstairs bathroom of the townhouse I live in.

That little event happened in November. NOVEMBER. Like, as in 5 months ago November. I have JUST recently gathered up the courage to start using that bathroom again. Every single time I'm in it, I'm a paranoid freak. I get a sort of "roach claustrophobia."

And here is why.

This horrible little bathroom leaves so many questions begging for answers.

Why is the toilet brown, of all colors? Why are the walls blood red? Why is it approximately 2 square feet big? Why is the floor carpeted? Why does it look so much like a little toilet cave? Why is the toilet BROWN?! Oh wait, I already asked that.

Seeing as how we are not the original tenants, and will probably never get definitive answers to these questions because we do not know who originally built/owned the place, my roommate and I like to make up our own theories.

Maybe this person was really self conscious about skidmarks? Maybe this person was agoraphobic and this bathroom was their own personal form of free therapy? Maybe this person had pee-fright unless their feet were met with the cushiony softness of carpet as opposed to tile? Maybe at some point in time this horrific color scheme was actually popular? Maybe this person was a serial killer who got too many blood spatters on the walls and thus gave up and painted them this shade of red?

Our theories for this eyesore of our downstairs are plentiful, and they get more interesting the longer we live here.

Until the time comes when we move out, we will probably continue to explain away or offer excuses to any of our townhouse guests for this abomination, which I sometimes affectionately refer to as the Brown Bathroom of Doom.

Of course, my contempt for the brown toilet is obviously heightened by the harrowing experience I had in it with the roach. But its ghastly physical appearance doesn't help either.

It is, at the very least, a conversation starter. I welcome any third party Brown Bathroom theories you may have. :)


  1. my grandma has a brown toilet too! why?

  2. Uhm... Why is the toilet brown? Wait. You've asked that already! Haha! ;)

  3. The biggest question for me is the carpet in the bathroom. There are so many things that happen only in bathrooms that are much more difficult to get OUT of carpet.

    I just remember cleaning the bathroom after a night of a party...piss on the can't get that out of carpet just doesn't make sense.

  4. Oooh the toilet at school is brown too. But it's probably scary there because of the size and that wall,. I can get a bit of claustrophobic too.

  5. i used to be afraid to pee in black toilets bc they were basically dark holes (that's what she said). this is the first brown one i've ever seen...not much better.

  6. You can at least update to a low flush toilet brown toilet... with the appropiate wall and floor decor can actually look very elegant and nice.


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