Monday, July 12, 2010

I Heart Electricity

It has come to my attention recently that I LOVE electricity.

I just love it. I need it. I take it for granted.

And when the power goes out because of a borderline-tornado going on outside, like it did last night, I lose all knowledge of what things in our house run on it.

" will the microwave work?"

"We'll still have air conditioning though right?"

"I'm just gonna go online real quick and check the weather to see when......oh.....wait...."

"Oh, well the cable's out but we can still go watch a DVD!"

No, no, no, and no.

NOTHING. WORKS. when there is a power outage. I'm intelligent-ish. I know this. Yet every time it happens, I walk around the house with the flashlight, flipping on switches every time I enter a room, continuously looking at the oven to see what time it is even though the time's not there, trying to turn on fans because it's starting to get balls-hot without the AC, etc.

So last night, once we all (me, Sister, Suz, Steve) got over our initial fury over not having power, we all found ourselves in the kitchen just staring around at each other like retarded zombies. We were so lost without our beloved electricity.

First, Sister and I tried to entertain ourselves by reading the books we're currently in the middle of. For me, Kafka's Metamorphosis. For her, Eat Pray Love. Of course, we were going to have to read by candlelight. So the kitchen scene looked a little something like this.

We tried our best to be entertained by this activity, but after about 30 seconds we were cursing our blackout situation and lamenting about how much it would suck and how quickly we would die if we had been pioneers or colonists or born anytime before 1980.

There needed to be a Plan B, and fast.

But then we had an epiphany...

You definitely didn't need electricity to drink beer, and that's MUCH more fun than reading by candlelight! And we had better get to doing it fast, because soon the refridgerators would all get hot, and subsequently the beer would get hot.

The situation got exponentially better from there. We went to the fridge and discovered the at-home mini keg of Coors Light we had bought a couple days earlier. Eureka!

hooray beer!

We brought it inside, figured out how to open it up, and poured away. Even Steve, a die-hard pinot grigio loyalist, wanted a pint of the good stuff.

Alas, though, we soon found ourselves going a little bit insane again. The situation had improved, and people may or may not have been getting tipsy, but we were jonesin' for some more action.

All this time, our 3 dogs (the doodles) had been trotting around the kitchen from one human to the next, probably wondering why we were all just sitting there and ninja-licking our legs and stuff.

My sister and I looked from our beer cups, to the bowl cabinet, to the bored dogs, and then furtively to each other. We crept down from our perches atop the kitchen counter and filled a little bowl up with some Coors.

We had long suspected our dogs were alcoholics, especially Dixie, so we thought, why not support their habit a little bit to selfishly satiate our own boredom?

They. lapped. it. up. And before any of you crazies run screaming away from your computers to call PETA, we didn't give them THAT much, and we're pretty sure only Dixie got a little buzzed, and we're also pretty sure she loved it anyway. No harm no foul, right?

just a couple of drunk doodles.

We also realized our iTunes would still work until our computers ran out of juice. So we had a few little dance parties and made a few little home music videos on iMovie, which will hopefully never surface in a highly incriminating way sometime in the future.

Circa about 10:30 PM, 3 hours after it started, the blackout ended. The power came back on, and 4 simultaneous personal celebrations could be heard from various parts of the house/kitchen. We were so excited, and although we had a good time drinking beer and getting our dogs drunk, we were also totally cognizant of our pathetic dependence on our computers and TVs for entertainment.

For all you people who grew up in decades that pre-date the 90s, I am impressed you're still with us. I don't know how you did it.

PS. Should you happen to hear a shrieking fit of hysterics later this evening emanating from the vicinity of upstate South Carolina, don't worry. That's just me, flying into a murderous rage over the fact that the Bachelorette is coming on at 8pm and our cable is still out, and I am a Bachelorette addict who hasn't had a fix since last Monday.

Who's fiending? This girl is.



  1. bwahahahahaha. I was just thrown into a fit of laughter. God bless your blog posts.

  2. "For all you people who grew up in decades that pre-date the 90s, I am impressed you're still with us. I don't know how you did it."

    Really? I can deal with being the creepy old dude in grad school, but this is just hitting below the belt. Ouch.

  3. so in my earthquake kit i'm putting in bottles of wine. thank you for giving me this idea. also i would do the same if i had a blackout...good thing i was like 10 when CA had a shit on blackouts.

  4. @ "anonymous"--ohh, so you can deal with being the creepy old dude in grad school but you sign blog post comments as "anonymous", hahaha.

    @pearl---i think wine bottles should be absolute essentials in earthquake kits.

  5. just keeping the creep flag flying high

  6. I am the exact same way. Whenever the power is out, I consistently try to use things that require electricity and get confused when I can't. How much of our daily routine involves it? Ummmm pretty much all of it!

  7. Lmao, I found that I also heart water, especially when I moved into my new place and found that the water company decided to skip my work order for that day and then I had to spend 80 bucks on a hotel room for the night!

  8. Hey girl. There are TWO awards for you at my blog!


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